Random Jumble

Boyfriend is coming over today. He came over Friday as well and made me eat pizza >~< He says I'm "too skinny" bullshit I'm too fat. Oh well, as long as he loves me. Well, went to the college tour yesterday. The lady there said I had a high chance of being accepted!^_^ Hope so! *fingers crossed*  It'll be easier to fast and diet there with no mom or boyfriend standing over my shoulder telling me to eat. I will miss them though): But, the pros out weigh the cons of this situation.

Still have no scale, so no idea as to how much I weigh ;-;

ABC Diet

Hello lovelys! Sorry I haven't been blogging, I've been on vacation with no internet >~< And needless to say, I'm a fat failure. I spent the whole week eating v.v So, on Monday, I'm starting to ABC diet. I've done it before, and ended up losing ten pounds even though I slipped up a few days. I'm hoping for even more weightloss if I stay on track? I weighed myself today. (please keep in mind I weighed fully clothed on our broken scale that gives you an estimated weight and I could be anywhere in a 10lbs range) I was 140. Back to my highest freaking weight. I have to fix this! and I shall. Tomorrow I am fasting. Then Monday I am starting the diet. Does anybody want to do it with me? It's easier with friends lol.

Ugh, Failure.

uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. why why why why whhhhy do I have to be such a fat failure? I keep binging! I'm going to the keys in less then a week and I haven't lost any weight!!!! I'll look like a whale in shorts and of course mom is going to make me wear them. So now not only will I have ugly scarred legs, I'll have ugly FAT scarred legs >~< fuck this. I'm done with eating. Just done. I hope I freaking die -.-

HereIsToABetterMe

So, tomorrow (March 20th) is my Birthday :) I'll be 16 ^.^ I won't be able to get away with fasting tomorrow, and today I failed miserably. So, starting Thursday, I will eat nothing but vegetables or fruits until we go to the Keys. No more "well one _____ won't hurt" or "____ isn't so bad." So starting Thursday, unless it is a fruit or vegetable, food will not be touched upon my lips. I refuse to further taint my body with the poisonious, fatty, calories. Year 16 starts a new, better, skinnier me <3

2 Weeks

So, I have approximately 2weeks until I go to the keys for spring break with my family. :/ This week shall be spent eating only fruits and vegetables gradually eating less and less until next week when I switc to fast mode :) I want to look half way decent when I go to the keys >~< My fat legs in shorts? No way!! Muffin Top in a bikini? Shoot me -.- I'll Post my stats Friday (not tomorrow but the next) and then the friday after that right before I leave. (Imay have to post thursday instead of friday though because I think I'm going to my dads next week and he doesnt have a scale..or internet) Wish me luck? :)

Gone to Waste.

So, I was doing so well on my Liquid Diet. Notice I said was? Yeah, my boyfriend was over at my house yesterday and my mother took the opportunity to make and watch my eat. 2 and a half days gone to waste in form of a soy chik'n patty ( I'm vegetarian so no real meat) lettuce and cheese on a sesame seed bun with fries v.v Oh well at least now my boyfriend thinks i'm "over my phobia of food and calories and weight gain" that's a plus right? I don't know. Restarting the Liquid diet though. I don't have school tomorrow so fasting both today and tomorrow should be easy. I'm aiming for this to last until Monday. Three days without eating as punishment for allowing myself to eat yesterday. Seems fair. Thank god for zero calorie monster, water, tea, and gum <3

Sunday Binge Avoidance

So, It's Sunday v.v (at least where I am it is) My least favorite day of the week because:
1. It's monday tomorrow and Monday means school.
and 2. It's my biggest Binge day.
I'm not entirely sure why the latter is true. All I know is that I usually gain anything I lost during the week back on Sunday. Well not today. :) I'm sure some of you have this problem as well? Or maybe it's anohter day in the week. Either way, here are some tips and tricks to not only keep all your hard work from going to waste, but to keep you from over eating and therefore causing immense stomach pain...

Tips and Tricks
~Avoid to Kitchen! (seems easy enough right?)
~If you do happen to have to enter the kithcen area for what ever reason, pour yourself a glass of water or juice. (this will distract your mind from food and fill you up a bit.)
~Do not say "just one bite. it won't hurt." because yes, yes it will hurt. I can never stop at just one bite and I end up eating everything.
~"But what about dinner? I can't avoid that." Complain of your stomach hurting through out the day. Tell your parents you ate a big lunch. Take a shower during dinner time. Pretend to eat. Hide food in your napkin. etc. See? Plenty of ways.
~You will get very "hungry" if you're bored. You're not really hungry you're just bored. Do something. Keep your mind occupied. :)
~Exercise. Seems like it should make you more hungry right? Wrong. (in my case at least) Exercise for an hour and you'll feel great and you won't be thinking about food.
~Look at Thinspo seems awful looking at all those pictures of gorgeous, thin girls right? Well just imagine you looking like that. Not so hungry now are you?
~If by any chance you are actually forced to eat, eat fruits or vegetables. A "binge" on that is not bad. It's healthy and very very low cal and low fat. Water, Veggies, and Fruit.

Hope you found this helpful? Stay strong and Don't give up. <3

Weekend Fast

So, I'm going to my boyfriends house tomorrow. I get to meet his mom. Joy. :/ Soooooooo worried. Anywhore, he knows about my..not normal.. eating habits. So I had to eat dinner tonight and then will most likely eat something small right before I go so that I
1. will not feel faint
2. won't be grumpy from lack of food
and 3. my stomach won't growl and he won't force me to eat.
Then, on Sunday, I'll start my two day (Sunday and Monday) fast. :) To make up for totally pigging out today and maybe tomorrow :/ I always find that Sunday it's hard to control my eating and I always binge. This Sunday? I think not :) I have "homework" to do that requires I stay in my room and away from the kitchen all day. Hopefully that will keep me from pigging out like i always do -.- Only water, gum, and Peach Tea for me Sunday and Monday! I will get my weight under control no matter what.